How to Start a Conversation and Make Friends by Don Gabor

Do you become tongue-tied and timid in company? Are you shy at parties? Do you find it hard to speak up at meetings? How can you make new friends?

This entertaining and easy-to-read book shows you how to master the art of conversation. The author tells you how to approach other people, the right questions to ask, how to keep a conversation going and how much you should reveal about yourself. He discusses the problems you may face, how to convey your ideas to others, the way to develop wit and confidence, and how to close a conversation naturally. His advice will help you to create friendships and make you more self-assured and relaxed with other people.

How to Start a Conversation and Make Friends is an invaluable handbook for every kind of situation - whether business or social.

Contents

Introduction - Turn on and tune In

• Be receptive - Body language
• Starting conversations naturally
• Keeping the conversation going
• Getting your ideas across
• Closing conversations naturally
• Suggestions for better conversations
• Remembering names
• Improving your conversations
• Overcoming conversational hang-ups
• Making friends
• 50 Ways to improve your conversations

The next time you walk into a room full of people, just listen to them talking! They're all communicating through conversation. Conversation is our main way of expressing our ideas, opinions, goals, and feelings to those we come into contact with. It is also the primary means of beginning and establishing friendships and relationships.

When the "channel of conversation" is open, we can connect and communicate with people around us. If the conversational channel is closed, then starting and sustaining a conversation can be a real problem. This book is based on my class, "How to Start a Conversation and Make Friends," and it will show you how to "turn on" your conversational channel and "tune in" to people you meet.

The conversational techniques in this book have been successfully tested in my classes and proven as methods of starting and sustaining conversations in nearly every situation—including social and business settings. The techniques are presented in an easy-to-master format so you can start improving your communication skills and self-confidence quickly. The techniques are demonstrated in real-life situations so you can practice and learn them within the context of your own lifestyle and at your own pace.

This book can be helpful to a wide variety of people including

Who attends my classes? Although many of the students may be "shy," most are people who want to improve their ability to communicate.

How This Book Can Help You
Many students who attend my classes are making career changes, and they want to learn how to move easily into a new social and work environment. Sales people want to know how to converse with clients in an informal (soft sell) manner, while women executives want to feel confident communicating with their male associates on an equal and nonsexual basis. New residents of the United States want to learn conversational English. Business executives want to learn how not to talk shop while entertaining, and parents want to learn to communicate well with their children and other family members. The list seems endless.

If you can converse in most situations without much problem, you can further your business and personal goals by improving your conversational skills. Even good conversationalists sometimes find themselves in situations where the conversation is just not going the way they want it to. This book provides techniques to help you better direct and control the conversation at such times.

Learn to Enjoy Parties While Winning New Friends
Perhaps the most common situation that causes problems for many Is meeting new people and socializing at cocktail parties and social events. Many people feel uncomfortable in a room full of strangers and are anxious about approaching others. This book discusses not just meeting new people, but making new friends, and developing lasting and meaningful relationships.

Most people want to share their experiences with others. We are constantly searching for others we can relate to on an intellectual, physical, and emotional level. This search can be frustrating and unfulfilling if you aren't able to reach out and communicate. Once you master the basic fundamentals of good conversation and are willing to reach out, you'll be open and available for new friendships and relationships.

You Can Learn to Communicate and Use New Skills
The ability to communicate in an informal and friendly manner is essential for every aspect of a person's business, social, and personal life. Most people can converse with others when they feel confident and comfortable. The problem arises when comfort and confidence are replaced by anxiety and fear. This book will help you identify which communication skills you already have working for you and in which situations you already feel confident.

Once you understand the skills that promote natural conversations, then begin using them in situations where you feel comfortable and confident. You will be able to see how effective you are, while simultaneously integrating these new techniques into your lifestyle.

As you become more confident with your conversational skills in "safe" situations, take some extra risks, and begin to use your new communication skills in situations where you were previously uncomfortable and anxious. You'll be pleasantly surprised to find that your skills will transfer from one situation to another without difficulty. As your control increases, so will your confidence. Your ability to maintain casual and sustained conversations will become part of your personality. Don't think about the skills and techniques; just let them become a subconscious basis for communicating.

Connect with People
The goal of conversation is to connect with people and the world around us. We have much to gain by communicating in an open and mutual manner. By sharing our experiences, we can grow in new ways. Our horizons and opportunities can expand, while our relationships may deepen and become more meaningful. Friendships and a sense of personal fulfillment can develop.

Conversation is also a means of negotiating with others. Communicating our wants and needs effectively is essential to fulfilling them.

Getting Started
Begin by opening your mind and your senses to people the world around you. Begin to integrate your new skills into your personality. You don't have to become a different person. You just need to change your attitudes and skills when you deal with others. Be patient and focus on small daily changes, rather than waiting for revelations. Remember, our patterns have had many years to crystallize, and it takes time for them to change.

You must have the desire to change, reach out to others, and try some new ideas. Set a goal to make contact with others. With a background of basic communication skills, you will find that accomplishing your goal is easier and more fun than you thought! Let's begin and.. . start a conversation!