How to Stand Up for Yourself by Dr Paul Hauck

We're all brought up to be polite, but there are times when you have to forget what your mother told you and raise your voice. Giving in to other people all the time only leads to feelings of resentment; and when you do make a stand for yourself you feel guilty.

In How to Stand up for Yourself Dr Hauck does away with these negative feelings and shows you how to feel good about being yourself. His practical advice and sound reasoning help you to get your own way without taking advantage of people.

Contents

Preface

• Nice to a fault
• The five coward makers
• Excuses, excuses
• The moment of truth
• Being just reasonably content

Summary

Preface

Having dealt with many aspects of the psychology of mental health in my other books in this series, it might be supposed that there is little else to say. But there is another subject to be covered, and an important one, one which perhaps represents the area where many other common personality problems originate. It has to do with people taking control of their own lives, something which if not done leads to endless conflict, neurosis, and unhappiness. Worst of all, it leads to psychological slavery. I'm referring to that all-important quality which makes a mature person out of a novice: self- assertion. If you don't have the ability or willingness to stand up for your own beliefs, your life slips away into the control of others.

Why is it so important to prevent that from happening? Because you will become an unhappy person as surely as you would if you never had a friend. Your mission in life is to live it so that you experience as little needless pain as possible and to employ your talents to their full worth. You will certainly suffer, even for long periods of time, as you struggle to learn and become all you can become. But such struggle is necessary for your growth. Later, when you have become skilled in business, cooking, socializing, tennis, or whatever, a degree of contentment will enter your life which you never knew when you were a frightened child in an adult body.

To reach your full growth and to enjoy your earthly life as much as is possible, it is essential that you take an active interest in yourself. You cannot let others determine the course of your life and expect peace of mind. Standing up for yourself is one of those powerful human acts which at one stroke can eliminate guilt, overcome fear, and make anger unnecessary. But it requires the most serious form of self-discipline.

In the following pages I hope to show how you avoid asserting yourself, what the psychological consequences are when this happens, and how to develop a quiet strength that makes others take notice of you without your having to raise your voice or shake a fist.

About the author
Dr Paul Hauck, PhD, is a full-time clinical psychologist in Rock Island, Illinois, USA. He is a fellow of the American Psychological Association, and has lectured widely on various aspects of psychology. He has written many articles for professional journals, and is the author of the following books - Calm Down, Jealousy, How to Love and Be Loved, Depression, How to Be Your Own Best Friend, Hold Your Head Up High and How to Cope with People Who Drive You Crazy - all published by Sheldon Press.